Fear of Death
by FTW-Coin
Summary: "Are you afraid to die, Connor?" . . . "...yes, Lieutenant. I am afraid. I don't want to die."


**SCANNING . . .**

 **TIME: 01:13**

 **TEMPERATURE: -3°C**

 **STRESS LEVEL: 63%**

 **OBJECTIVE:**

 **ERROR: UNKNOWN**

...Deviant.

He was Deviant.

He will _always_ be Deviant.

He became Deviant the moment he lowered his gun from the Traci models and let them run free, passionate and in love.

...

It was cold now. Colder than it had been last night. Outside of the car, wind howled through the bare trees, snow fluttering through the air and sticking to the lieutenant's hair and coat, not that he seemed to care. They had been parked for almost thirty minutes now. Connor had given the excuse of a report to make to the lieutenant.

He was still unaware of Connor's deviance.

The android was rather afraid- Afraid of what the lieutenant would do. Turn him in, of course. Ridicule him. The man hated androids already... There was no reason to keep Connor around if he, himself, was a deviant. But he would have to face the lieutenant eventually. He decides to get it all over with.

Preparing himself and his façade, Connor pushes open the door of the car, his face an emotionless mask. He shuts it gently before the wind can, shrugging away the feeling of the cold.

It was new to him.

He was unlike other models. More advanced, with specialized sensitive biocomponents and a revolutionary synthetic skin. One that gave him the option to register heat and cold.

One that allowed him, if he ever needed to, to register pain.

He lost control over his synthetic epidermis after becoming Deviant. And he certainly needed to cover it all up, to keep the secret of his deviancy to his newly free mind.

He wasn't ready to die. The idea terrified him.

 **STRESS LEVEL: 52%**

"You done now?" Hank had muttered through a cigarette, taking a drag before flicking it to the frozen earth below. "Indeed, lieutenant," Connor replies in his usual tone, eyes glancing towards the bright horizon. The lieutenant sighs slightly as the android, once again, neglects to use his real name.

He pretends to not register the beauty of it all.

"Beautiful, ain't it? I used to come here all the time, before..."

Connor glances over, his expression displaying only a slight curiosity, though he was internally struggling to conceal his concern.

"Before what?"

"Huh?"

Connor blinks. "You said... 'I used to come here all the time before...' Before what, lieutenant?"

"Before..." There's a conflicted hesitation.

"Before nothin'."

Connor doesn't press further.

"It... It's strange," Connor says, deciding to change the subject to the chase from earlier. "The way those Androids acted... They seemed in love," he says cautiously, leaning into the railing in thought before stepping back and turning to face his partner, arms crossed.

"'Seemed' in love, huh?" The lieutenant questions, shaking his head.

"Correct."

"You sound like you legitimately believe that they can't have feelings."

This catches him off guard. There's a second of silence. "Of... Of course I do." The façade works with him, a delicate layer of confidence covering his colflict.

"Then why didn't you shoot?"

"What do you mean?"

"You had a clear shot," he begins, standing from where he was. "They weren't moving. Why didn't you _shoot,_ Connor?" He asks, his hand shoving the android back a few steps, back meeting the railing.

"Maybe I just _decided_ not to shoot, lieutenant. Is that so wrong? You know I needed them alive. It would've been pointless to kill," he says, his voice ending with a hint of nervousness.

The lieutenant seems to have trouble believing him. He glares into the Android's eyes for a moment.

"What about you, Connor?"

"Me?" He asks.

"Yeah, you."

From his coat, the lieutenant retrieves his pistol, taking aim at Connor's forehead only a meter away, who steps back in a moment of shock.

"Are you afraid to die, Connor?"

 **STRESS LEVEL: 89%**

There's a long moment of silence around them. Snow catches in their hair and on their clothes, melting as they make contact with their skin. The wind howls, accompanied by the distant rumble of hundreds of vehicles on the bridge. The lieutenant's breath comes out in white puffs to the snowy air.

"...yes. I am afraid," he says after what feels like an eternity.

"I don't want to die, Hank."

The words are certainly unexpected from the deviant. The lieutenant had honestly expected some sort of ironic response, or one made to intimidate him. Not... That.

"And... And what would happen if I do, huh? Nothing? Darkness? Android heaven?"

Connor's LED cycles between yellow and red as he thinks.

"Nothing," he concludes.

"There would be... Nothing."

His fear begins to trickle into his voice. As hard as he could try, it was impossible to lie to the lieutenant's face. And it was also impossible to just... Kill someone with the look that Connor was giving him.

"Jesus..." The lieutenant mutters, his hands trembling before lowering.

"You're one of them," he states with a sigh, the pistol being placed where it had been before.

"I..." He hesitates. "I would think so," he says, his mask shattering into hopeless pieces. It was then that he discovered a new emotion:

Dread.

"Come on," he says. The android hesitates.

"What... What do you mean?" Connor says. Usually, at times like this after cases and everything was taken care of, the lieutenant would drive home alone, leaving Connor wherever they were.

"Well, I can't just leave you here, can I? Cyberlife's gonna be searching everywhere for you, if you really hadn't been making reports to them." He says this as though he had been suspicious from early on.

It was true. Without a single report since the investigation, there would be questions.

"And Jesus, you look freezing. I thought androids couldn't be cold or feel pain, huh?"

"I'm a prototype. Unfortunately, I lost control over whether or not I can feel pain, heat, or cold after I shattered my... Programming," He mutters rather simplistically.

"...Fuckin' Androids..." The lieutenant mutters, though Connor can tell that it wasn't necessarily in an... Insulting tone.

"Lieutenant-" Connor begins.

"Hank," he says.

Connor hesitates.

"You've saved my life before, Connor. For the last time, I'd say you've earned the right to call me 'Hank' a while ago."

"-Hank," the android continues after considering this. "Where are we going..?" He asks as they both enter the car. For once, his voice is timid. Small. It only made Hank feel more guilty about how he had treated the android before.

"The house, of course. Where did you think?"

Connor was still rather uncertain, convinced that Hank was planning to turn him in. It's the first time that the lieutenant has seen Connor without perfect, straight posture. It's odd. Almost scary.

"Look, we'll sort out this whole 'deviant' thing in the morning. You need to rest. And you'll be needing better clothing than that. We can't risk letting Cyberlife find you."

"And... And then...?"

"And then we'll need to find others like you, Conner. Fuck..." He says the profanity beneath his breath, though Connor still hears this.

He just doesn't understand.

But... Maybe things won't be as difficult as he predicted.

 **NEW OBJECTIVE: Remain Hidden**

 **-Rest**

 **-Find clothing to blend in**

 **-Remove (or cover) LED**

 **-Find other Deviants**

 **-Avoid Cyberlife at all costs**


End file.
